04/JUN/2010
This is the first and last diary I ever kept about my experience with a very serious common childhood illness when I was 18 (don't worry it's uplifting and I survived)
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25//APRI//2003 - 11.30: Wake up, have a shower, notice weird spots on chest, don’t really think anything of it. I have a sneaky feeling it might be Chicken Pocks, Allergic Reaction to Alcohol or Cancer.
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25//APRI//2003 - 15.50: Go to the Doctors. Wait in the waiting room with old and pregnant people, while trying desperately to resist the powerful charms of ‘Saga Magazine’ I wait around for 12 minutes before I realise that nothing is going to happen for a while. I pick up a children’s book, on facts, stuff like ‘Did you know that a rich man has a room devoted to wrapping presents!’ read the book for mild entertainment.
I get bored and put the book down. The thing is about waiting rooms is that you can’t lose too much of your attention just in case you name and room number gets called out over the antenna, once you missed it, that’s it, no treatment for another month! I’m wary for another 5 minutes before my eyes begin to wander around the room I’m in. It’s a dire place the sort of place where you’re expecting to pick up the plague if you take your guard down for one second or worse get some guy talking about his prostate problems. There are fake bricks and some windows and the usual smell that lurks around waiting rooms...fear.
Just like shoe shops has leather, toilets either extreme smell of disinfectant or extreme smell of piss chamber and playschool has poo.
My name finally gets called out, over the muffled voice of a guy saying something that resembles my name and a number, you wait around for that quick 5 seconds, just to check there aren’t two of you, and then you stand up and look around as if you’ve won! You know you haven’t because you’re there for a reason...I find the room, a nice unfriendly place with a chair, computer and such medical stuff. The doctor I talk to is about as interested to find out what’s wrong with me then some underachieving bully at school is learning.
I tell him what’s up, and he jokes around saying I’ve
got SARS...at that point I was about as happy as a cow when it sees the headlights of a juggernaut coming straight towards me, No one is laughing.
He says that he’s joking, and says I’ve got chicken pocks and had to be pretty much quarantined for at least 10 days...my heart sinks.
I leave the room as quickly as possible and get in my car and get the hell out of there.
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25//APRI//2003 - 17.00: Bored. I can see the next two weeks being the most horrifically intolerably gayest bored time, as I get more and more down the fact that I won’t be able to see a human apart from my mum, and the friendly people such as Montel and Ricki Lake getting me through this awful time, I’m close to tears more emotional than a pregnant wife. Things didn’t get better when I was forced to watch Star Trek Voyager double bill...my brain feels like going into total shut down, and not waking up for another 3 weeks, just to make sure I haven’t got this freaky-dink disease.
Stargate SG-1 comes on, I have to flea to wherever I can I make a dash to the toilet and wash my face, just to pass the opening sequence. This makes the program seem more eventful to watch having to guess what the hell is going on, other than ‘o look, bad guy... [Bang]...o look at that we saved the world...again!’
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25//APRI//2003 - 20.45: Forced to stop watching TV so that my mum so she can talk to her friends...I go on the internet, the place where dreams are smashed by the same old websites that you view everyday.
The internet is much like America, well not really, more like the American dream. People go on there and expect to find that one true thing that they’ve always wanted to see/read to make their life complete. Unfortunately this doesn’t happen; sitting at a computer will do this to you. It will KILL YOU! Radiation from the screen seeping into your eyes, not really looking at anything, perhaps changing your desktop, ripping off more of you’re favourite bands etc. ok so it won’t kill you but it will make your life very dull, Escape before it’s too late.
As I sit here, I’m getting the feeling that I and my computer are going to become even closer friends, as well as my TV and anything else that requires minimal effort and maximum entertainment.
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25//APRI//2003 - 21.03: I can feel my brain going into cabin fever mode, only been bored in the house for 6 hours...I start a countdown of 10 days (from midnight last night) before I can resume a normal life.
Time remaining: 9 days and 2 hours and 15 minutes.
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26//APRI//2003 - 13.01: Just woken up from a 12 hour sleeping session with a nose bleed, feeling very tired and very hayfevery, although happy that there’s only 8 days to go.
Things are getting worse, more spots, itching beginning to start, and still very much pissed off and bored...8 days 10 Hours and 59 minutes. Mum gone into annoying mode thinking she’s funny by making ‘spot’ jokes and other stupid comments. I’m going to play Halo to relieve some stress by killing some aliens.
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26//APRI//2003 - 16.51: Soul destroyed, TV getting more and more repetitive, more places are starting to get itchy, but I’m convinced I can fight it with mind over matter, and it seems to be working and so is ignoring it I put my ill top on, this officially means I’m ill, a green fleece with a silver zip that has been through every illness I’ve had from the last 5 years or so I’m feeling this log book is going to be the highlight of my day...8 days 8 hours 9 minutes
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26//APRI//2003 - 18.00: I finally left the house, went to no where special, just a second car Mercedes garage, looked at a bunch of ugly cars that people feel that they should own, because it makes them more special, richer than everyone else...and I’m sure I saw more Mercedes and BMWs on the way home than any other car...a lot of people have made it I guess. The salesmen are really annoying too; you even walk past the garage with an eye on a motor and you end up running down the street trying to keep your wallet safe from the bunch of wolves. Not really wolves though more like vultures...vultures in suits and hair, and a company car...or gold plated company wings, since vultures can’t drive.
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26//APRI//2003 - 21.42: Thanks to Scrubs my soul has been replaced by cheap Japanese, made to the million noodle cooker look-a-like.
So I’m now on the internet once more, I’ve been through the usual sites, deleted the spam, taken the e-trash out, still no enlightenment found but TV needs more warped comedy...just too generally make the world go round.
Damn this infernal world, why do my credit cards have to be maxed? Why can’t I buy anything of the net, to entertain me on my travels of boredom, or at least that magical site that can keep me entertained for hours without having to read long pointless stories, about someone’s life that at the end of the day I’m only going to forget what I read and don’t really give a damn what he’s gone through...damn this cruel world! AND I’m tired!
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26//APRI//2003 - 23.16: Too tired to carry onnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
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27//APRI//2003 - 12.34: Wake up, look in the mirror and my face has been annihilated with a spot machine gun, can’t move my face, and can’t wear my glasses so can’t watch TV, things are just great! I can’t wait for things to get worse! No itching yet, for which I am thankful.
7 days 11 hours 26 Minutes
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27//APRI//2003 - 17.00: Bored, can’t eat, can’t move face, all hurts, officially hate babies they should all go to hell. Time is going r e a l l y s l o w l y. Tick tick tick...
7 days 7 hours 0 minutes
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27//APRI//2003 - 22.16: 7 days 1 hour 44 minutes, starting to get tired earlier and sleeping in later, really need to wash and a change of clothes.
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28//APRI//2003 - 10.53: Bored already and been up for about 10 minutes, getting emotionally stressed about this illness, why do I have to have it now, why do I get ill every month, grrr. I’m really pissed, still can’t move, eat, brush my teeth now, wash, I’m a living rotting corpse. Finding this really hard to cope with, Plus I found out it will go on for longer than 2 weeks, cheap Japanese soul destroyed.
6 days 14 hours 7 minutes
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28//APRI//2003 - 22.58: Had a bath, finally got round to it, not many posts today TV was a little more adventurous with my needs of entertainment. Had a guest as well, first and last I can imagine! Itching starting to come on with a vengeance, hopefully I’ll sleep through tomorrow with unconsciousness...doubtful it will happen and ill wake up early and wont be able to sleep late and it’ll be like Russian torture! (Who says optimism has gone!?) Time seemed to have went quicker today as well, which is always a bonus...
6 days 1 hour 2 minutes
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28//APRI//2003 - 23.28: Sleep seems to be my only option now...
6 days 32 minutes
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29//APRI//2003 - 20.54: Spent the whole day watching TV, nothing very exciting, had some porridge which was special...brain starting to turn into mush.
5 days 4 hours 6 minutes
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30//APRI//2003 - 13.29: Had a good nights sleep, spots are retreating (well no more have appeared) my retail shopping therapy has arrived, so that will keep me entertained, Hurrah!
Spots is such a nasty word, just mentioning the word opens up a doorway of puss and blood and all other horrible, contagious evilness. They’re fun to pop, evil to share.
4 days 10 hours 31 minutes
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30//APRI//2003 - 23.57: Not feeling tired yet, feeling back to my old self, although not looking it! Today went pretty quickly, spent 4 hours just watching one DVD ‘Not Another Teen Movie’ with all the extra features and all, great fun...well kept me entertained which isn’t hard to do. Had my first proper meal since last Thursday, 6 days ago, I think my body is going hay-wire with all the nutrients and energy.
I’m surprised with myself, with the amount of time I’ve been bored, I haven’t once visited bored.com...well I’m impressed!
Feeling a lot better and only 4 days 3 minutes left...sort of, not including scab-rehab!...eeeshk.
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01//MAY //2003 - 17.50: Had an eventful day, I’m feeling heaps better although looks like it could be picked off at any second. Any who not the one to moan...much...ok well yes I am, a lot...I got things sorted, got Coaxial Apparel one step closer to an awesome finished product, had eventful TV, well lacking around lunchtime, but it picked up. Actually time went quickly, and I can’t name a lot of things I’ve done...seems odd.
Might be off to reading festival this year too, although the line up sucks so I’m just going for the camping, which is where most of the fun happens anyway, and no doubt sound will be shit and blah really.
What else...well that’s it, going to Weymouth...should be a hoot most boring seaside town that the planet knows, minus Skate Park, surf shops and music shops (if it has any?).
I don’t know it’s been a long time since I’ve been there, but at least I do get to go on a ride-on lawn mower! Went on the scales today seemed that I’ve lost 2 stone whilst being ill...I’m really sure that’s not good, I need to eat again, l o t s and fast! O well just got to wait for the scabs to heal up and I can walk the streets without kids puking, the elderly hitting me with brooms and such like, and fathers trying to run me over!
3 days 7 hours 10 minutes, as I said - sort of but I probably need to add another 14 days to that for scab-rehab...but my math isn’t that good, simple as it is, I’m just too lazy.
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03//MAY //2003 - 2.18 AM: Not tired, not feeling ill anymore and the scabs are dropping like water from Niagara...well almost!
General Day has generally been general, woke up as most people do to start a day, eat food novel for me my first breakfast in a long week. did some stuff like...I don’t know, clean my teeth, prat around on these things, kept myself entertained long enough to give myself the excitement of watching my last DVD I bought National Lampoons Loaded Weapon 1, awesome funny film to watch especially on Sundays, along with Police Squad, Airplane 1 + 2 and Hotshots, Easy Comedy...anyway watched it, laughed at it...not really much more can be said!
I ventured to Weymouth as well, meant to be 2.1/2 hours away took 3 great journey just had detours, mainly for my mother driving to Marks and Spencer...never mind, I still wait at the door for adoption papers to come through the doors, which my real rich family has just forgotten to send...here’s to hoping!
So, here I am sitting in some study thing my dad has decorated, the rest of the house looks...well, it looks like a dump, but he’s split it into two; ‘mini-me’ version of his huge house and, well ‘house’, the house version of the house. Mini-me bit looks nice, bit small, and ‘house’ is big but crap! I won’t complain though since it will be my house for the next three days while I go through this scab-rehab. I’m not entirely sure why I am up so late, I mean as un-tempting the zed-bed is, with about an inch of spring in the mattress and about as comfortable as trying to sit on a camel they weirdly enough has a seat of nails on it! Man, those desert types are weird...not that, that’s true of course...they sleep on it though (I think that maybe slightly more east?) but when they snore I’m sure someone will let them know about it (thinks...look a giant hammer) and midnight twitches must be a laugh every time you get them...perhaps if its marketing that was why it didn’t happen (and the amount of pain involved) bed of nails, party piece for all, watch you enemies bleed to death on rusty old nails, invite them round for a party get them drunk, send them to sleep and accidentally drop a ten ton weight on them...honest mistake to happen...
Also another reason I’m up is that I’m waiting for someone special to come online on Messenger, perhaps Ghandi or Jesus, someone different from the crowd but I know it isn’t going to happen, it’ll wind up being either messenger to messenger Jehovah witness’ or double glazing salesmen...both equally annoying, and will be coming to a messenger near you! Look out for your nearest MSN carnival for handouts!
Music would be my third and final reason why I am up, my only vent from well...anything, music will be here for as long as people will...nice and my head is really starting to annoy me, get out of my head you little buggers! Never mind, rise above it! I guess I should really get some sleep, no idea what countdown past from caring...no doubt be mind numbly bored tomorrow...whoo hoo more nonsense to write!
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04//MAY //2003 - 00.28: Because I’m going to...The Hives the excellent Dutch!? Band from the Dutch land for the NME generation...the nice! Simply going to say...had a good day for a change.
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06//MAY //2003 - 15.28: Hello, good afternoon and good night. After a horrible weekend in hell (Weymouth) I’m home again! Raa! And I’ve got 80s pop playing in the background all is ok! ‘Take on me!’ still got scabs and dead skin falling off me, not the nicest of images but ‘slowly learning life is ok’ and still got remains of spots, not sure if I should go back to normal life tomorrow ‘Its better to be safe than sorry’ but never mind, more people I can infect with this evilness the better I feel inside! After all I don’t want to be selfish!
Although I’ve just been food shopping, so if I am still contagious a lot of people just got ill! Food shopping is a very weird thing to do, its kind of hard to explain, but everyone looks in your shopping trolley and judges everything you do by what’s in your trolley, its like have court case in Tescos, and depending on whether you’re guilty of innocent is judged by what foods you buy...very weird, so many food as well, stuff I’ve never heard of before or seen what they looked like, I cant give examples because I cant think of any right now because my memory is shot, but given the chance I’m sure Tescos would put a zoo and perhaps a Formula one race track in one of the aisles, since they seem to sell everything else, and why do they sell so much stuff, if a kid wants a bike, they will go to a bike shop! Not a food store...not that it really matters though.
Summer of 69...’They were the best days of my life’ weather is picking up...sun at last! Blue skies, loud kids, good happy music comes back into fashion, any stories to happen, and many drunken binges! And ill leave you lot too it...it’s been emotional, I promised myself I wouldn’t cry...
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11//MAY //2003 - 20:51: Poxy pox update, living a normal happy loser life again, going out, getting drunk, getting my bad self down to funky 80s pop classics...Wham, Dead or Alive, Go West, all the classics, getting shot down by girls, puking, waking with hangovers, eating crap, living the dream. Still got scabs on me, and dropping off me like some scab-slug, and I’ve had no itching as well...which I’m quite happy about, I doubt it very much to do with mind over matter, more like boredom over excitement, I really think those pink elephants dressed up as Spartacus singing a few hip-hop tunes really helped too. Tra la la la...