05/MAY/2010

Silence, the eternal nothingness that can bring everything to the forefront.

Sitting outside in the sun supping on a nice bottle of warmed Guinness, listening to nothing thinking about everything and a tiny Boeing 747 flew pass my eyes and straight towards a pseudohermaphrodited pheasant.

The bird shocked by seeing a tiny passenger airliner fly towards it's face. It squawk in shock, as it was closing it's bird mouth organ the plane flew straight down it's squawk pipe, through the stomach, pass it's intestines until it reached the end of it's journey, the rectum.

The plane had other ideas and still had plenty of momentum left in it, to fly the pheasant arse first into and through a white picket fence. The impact forced the pheasant through the slats leaving a white mark on its feathers. The bird came to rest 5 miles down the road, when the plane managed to escape the bird's shitty claws.

Lying there, unconscious, the pheasant was discovered by a Dr. South, a lady who is about 20ft tall in bird perspective, with grey pinkish hair with a blue rinse, wore a long brown jacket, some other lady doctor type things and squarely triangle glasses, she also has an interest in bags of coal, jean pockets and blades of grass over 3 inches in height.

Dr. South took the bird down to Minnesota, where she had a clinic looking after and healing distraught Pheasants After a Micro Plane Attack, or dPAMPA. Some folks say that was pheasant's luckiest day, and i agree, very lucky bird to be found by the owner, founder, SEO and FD of dPAMPA.

Dr. South took the pheasant throught a rigorous session to strengthen the pheasant's mind and body to with the incident, but nothing was working. The Pheasant read in Brick Weekly, when bricks come out of retirement within the property game, they experience a similar mental breakdown from stress by the their new unfamiliar circumstances, Bricks get over this by using hypnosis. Dr. South was out of ideas and the Pheasant was desperate, so decide to give it a go.

The Doctor used the old fashioned method of hiding behind a sofa and jumping out in front of the Pheasant with a meat cleaver in order to induce hypnosis, the Pheasant was out cold like an abattoir's freezer.

The Pheasant woke up, ostracised within dPAMPA.

The Pheasant decided it would be better off being alone as a mentally crazed long neck and legged bird with the ability to run at maximum speeds of about 70 km/h (45 mph), on the streets of Africa.